To Be True To Yourself

At the reception of my Wedding, over 20 years ago, my aunty said to me, “Be true To Yourself." I didn’t really understand what she meant or why she chose to say this at the wedding but it is something I could never forget. In our 20’s we are carefree and time is on our side. Life is fun and full of adventure. I didn’t think about the logistics of living on a farm or moving into a house that was very run down. I was in love and ready for anything. Howard and I made a family, a home, a success of our business and great friendships along the way. Now as the children grow and I am in my 40’s I still expect life to be wonderful. The challenge is to be true to myself more than ever before. It’s not time to put the slippers on and be the housewife just yet!!   

If you think farmer’s wives sit at home waiting for the roast to cook, you have us all wrong. Most women I know in the industry are strong and independent, forging their own careers, participating in the farming business and in many cases caring for children as well.  I am writing this blog at an interesting stage of my family life. The days of a weekly grocery shop and set town days are long gone.  My wings are spreading wide and I am living in a completely different way to when the girls were little. I can play my role in the business perfectly well from any location, as long as I have my computer and phone nearby. Probably the greatest challenge for Howard and I, if I am really honest, is choosing how we want our marriage to be these days.

Last night I joined in a yoga class in Bondi Junction. The softly lit studio was modern and fresh. A long room was set out with green yoga mats and cream blankets. The teacher entered the room dressed in white; she plugged in her ipod as music filled the space. At the end of class I spoke with Kathryn about my breath. I had noticed a restriction and asked her view on what that might be. As the rest of the class had tea in a nearby room, we sat quietly in the dim lighting and I listened carefully. (It’s funny how you read something and can learn it over and over and then suddenly you really hear it.) Kathryn explained that the breath represents how empowered we feel in our life and it is also directly linked to our emotional state. If the breath isn’t flowing well it could be fear.

What could I be afraid of?? I am just about to do my final Dru yoga exam. Could it be linked to that? I explained to this gorgeous teacher that I didn’t really feel like a proper yoga teacher yet. When you live on a farm and make a living from farming, everything else matters less, it seems. As well as the farm responsibilities, the needs of our girls are a high priority. Yoga is something I try to fit into the spaces, but when you decide to be a yoga teacher it starts to be like trying to hold a ball under the water. Yoga cannot be ignored, nor can the people who come to the classes. You want them to feel fabulous and they need you to set an example.

Kathryn suggested I step into my teaching role with clarity and that I also realise how important my role is on the farm. Some great yoga teachers combine their love and connection with nature, with their yoga teachings. The idea of combining both feels so right for me. Kathryn suggested I bring that love of yoga and nature to into the cities as well as in my local community. ‘People need that.’ She gently explained.

As I write this blog I can hear a young man singing in the room next door. My guess is that he is an X factor contestant; I have seen their familiar faces in this Sydney motel before. His voice is divine. I want to knock on their door and say, ‘You sound amazing!!’ We are inspired by those who are brave enough to be true to themselves. With my four daughter’s watching the choices I make, may I inspire them to dare to live well and be true.

My breath is deep and full today. I am excited about taking my yoga and meditation teaching role to a whole new level. And as for Howard who is at home checking if the crop has any frost damage and if the hay is ready for baling, I set an intention for our relationship to be better than it has even been before. It doesn’t look like any sort of traditional relationship but it will be a fine version of two people who want to be the best they can be.

My aunty couldn't have explained what being true to yourself means as well as experience has. I know what I want and what I don't want these days and feel very capable of manifesting great opportunities in my life. Perhaps being true to yourself is about valuing who you are and feeling like you can come out the other side of raising little children with a greater sense of self than when you went in. This deep knowing is a treasure and a light for the next exciting chapter for our family!