A letter to parents of young children

Hello dear parents of young children,

Here are a few things I wish someone had told me at some point when I was raising our beautiful four girls. This blog is prompted by a mother on instagram reaching out and asking 'who meal preps' and if anyone has tips for her. I had replied, saying that 'Yes I do meal prep' and was about to launch into the details of the freezer containers I use, until putting myself her shoes for a sec. This blog is for you and for all parents who are doing the Big Juggle. 

So, I am going to be very honest here because I refuse to sound like one of those super organised women who forgets to mention something - I am organised only because my children are adults. Preparing meals is super easy these days, as is the housework, clothes washing, maintaining the garden and doing what I love to do. The 'juggle' no longer feels like a 'juggle' and I am not exhausted. 

My tip for you, as you manage this parenting chapter that likely includes homework, school stress, sport runs, emotional turmoil, regular illness, family pressure and relationship ups and downs (and all the yummy good stuff), is LOOK AFTER YOURSELF and FIND SHORT CUTS!! 

By short cuts I mean - 

*Frozen mashed potato from the supermarket is as good as the real deal. 

*Have a healthy meal with veggies every second night and in between remember kids love baked beans, eggs, cheesy pasta and toasted sandwiches. 

*Get the children involved in the meal prep and helping with the grocery shopping. Teach them why you choose what you do such as pricing, ingredients and nutritional value. 

*Tell them stories of when you were little and the meals you remember. 

*Brainstorm as a family, how you can make meal time more fun. (Paper plates!! Now that is a great idea.) 

Parents - take any unnecessary pressure off yourself. It does get easier. These days my adult children eat whatever I put in front of them. They jump in and help with the washing up. They thank me after the meal (Yes, how good is that!! I don't remember being thanked very much when they were little.) Also during the crazy juggle period, no-one noticed if I wasn't eating properly, drinking any water or not sleeping well. No-one suggested I take it easy on myself. I was too busy feeling it was my job to ensure the girls felt okay emotionally, physically and mentally. No small responsibility! 

So as you navigate this period of family life my greatest suggestion is please DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF to anyone else. When I went back to work full time, so many women asked me how my children and husband were coping. When I stopped work and became a full time stay at home mum, women asked me what my husband thought of that and if I missed my career and earning my own money. You really can't win the comparison, 'impress others' game!! 

So, beautiful you - These little demanding bundles of love, need you right now for so much but they also need to see your smile. Be an example of health by valuing YOU and what you need to add to the schedule to thrive right now. (eg I used to break my hour long yoga practice into 10 minute stretches throughout the day. I also woke very early to write each morning.)

Never will your own nutritional habits be more important than now.  If you are going to meal prep, prepare to have at least one dinner a week that is completely and utterly designed for you. Better still, get the family to serve it to you in a fun way - I imagine flowers on the dinner table and a pre-arrangement that you don't have to do the cleaning up. Show the children how to be grateful for all that you do. They say we teach people how to love us based on how much we value ourselves.

Some things I did do to make my life more manageable at the time when the girls were little- 

*I gave each of the girls their own basket and washing day. They took more responsibility for helping me with their own washing. I also packed most of the towels out of reach at one stage, as the amount of washing was ridiculous. (The amount of toys they owned was equally as ridiculous. SO many options - so much MESS!)

Anyway, this is for another blog. For now, let's stay focused on meals. 

Healthy suggestions:

 - Slow cooked casseroles, ragu beef pasta, mild curries and the favourite, spaghetti bolognese. Always a couple of veggie options. The more colour the better. Prepare during the day or on weekends and freeze to be defrosted mid week. This way, most of the work is done before they return from school. (All can be vegetarian of instead of course, if you prefer)

- Add something green to each meal. A herb garden outside of the kitchen is manageable and fun for the kids (Full disclosure - I have one now but couldn't maintain a good vegetable garden during the frantically busy days)

Alternate meal suggestions;

Mexican(Tacos/Nachos)

Pizza (kids make their own with pre chopped ingredient options)  

Burgers (sneak some salad in there and grated carrot and zucchini into burger)

The big juggle 

I look back at the 'Big Juggle' and do wish I'd made life a little easier on myself. Yes, it is a parents job to provide good nutrition for our families but what the children remember is the times when eating was fun and not so serious - like picnic dinners outside or on a sheet in the living room. What matters is not only what we eat but how we eat and being together. 

I'm not saying it isn't possible to be a super organised parent while the children are young but often (usually) all this fabulousness occurs either because a parent has support or she/he is not revealing the full truth of how they feel behind closed doors. To maintain this level of impressiveness, it is likely someone is pushing through deep exhaustion. (Next blog - Dealing with deep exhaustion)

At the end of the day, this is huge what you are doing. As much as today's society is very focused on career and lifestyle achievements, what I now realise as my greatest achievement to date, is that my children still love me, despite my imperfections. We are all doing our best and that is what matters. 

Big Love to you

Narelle xx